all around you
all the time
seal
Seals lounge and bark. Many of us have been addressed by a seal.
Or were you addressed by a sea lion? Is there a difference? Behold…
seal
small thinly webbed flippers
sea lion
large flippers
seal
wriggle on their bellies
sea lion
walk on land
seal
no visible ear flaps
sea lion
small, visible ear flaps
seal
wriggle on their bellies
sea lion
walk on land
seal
not very social
sea lion
might hang with 1500 of their best friends
seal
tend to be quieter
sea lion
noisy
Also, seals tend toward having stubby, front feet, are smaller and more aquadynamic.
And it is this last comparison that presently interests us. Aww! Aww! It’s called barking. Dogs bark. If you listen carefully when a dog barks, you can sometimes actually hear it say, “Bark! Bark!”
Seals don’t say “Bark!” They say “Aww!” with an uptick at the end. Or sometimes, “Arr” with the uptick. Maybe a little like a crow. A little. Not at all like a pirate. Umm, maybe like a valley girl?
horse
Man! Do horses have a lot of ways of expressing themselves!
Truly, I’m not that much familiar with horses, so when I see the catalog of all the possible vocalizations a horse may vocalize, I’m surprised, hopefully entertained. Such a pleasant fate should befall you as well. Here we go.
neigh
A neigh is a long, almost staccato sound used to locate, maintain or gain contact with other horses. It starts strong and often winds down, sounding more like a nicker at the end. They are calling out to others and hoping for a response. You might have a distressed mare looking for her foal, or she might just be saying hello.
A neigh sounds a lot like a little girl caught in the well.
nicker
A horse will nicker when it’s feeling calm and happy. The sound sometimes resembles slowly pulling a lawnmower cord when you’re out of fuel, or a low half-hearted laugh.
But the nicker is versatile. It could be a soft low note that might be different for breakfast than for later in the day. If we’re dealing with a stallion, be prepared for the prenup nicker.
whinny
“Whinny” is a greeting, the same as a neigh, though some people will say a whinny is softer, higher-pitched and used to greet closer friends. A whinny is generally made with the mouth open, ears up, and pricked forward, like a cat saying “Huh?”
I like the idea that the whinny is the exhausted second half of a neigh, where the engine sort of gives out and you know you’re not going anywhere tonight.
blow
Picture a horse’s face. Quite a pair of lips, huh. Good for blowing.
When your horse inhales and then quickly puffs the breath out through his nostrils so they vibrate with a loud purring sound, that’s a blow. He might be alarmed, but more likely he’s excited and expects something good will happen, like you getting his lead rope at turnout time. “Oh goody, we’re going out, we’re going out!”
snort
A blow. Don’t stand in front of the horse.
chuff or chuffing
“Chuff” means, “to produce noisy exhaust or exhalations.” We’re still talking about the northbound end of a northbound horse. Behold the sharp, puffy exhale kind of whisper. It’s a friendly greeting.
moan
When injured.
grunt
Yes, it’s called “grunt,” but it sounds like a groan, which sounds like an old man trying to get out of a too-low chair.
groan
Your horse might be injured, it might be pissed off or it might simply be having a good time rolling in the dirt.
scream
A scream is generally a high-pitched, loud, and long vocalization: AAAHHHHHHHH. Screams are generally heard in situations of increasing conflict between two horses. Basically your horse is pissed off.
The long AAAHHHHHHHH takes me back to the childhood playground with my younger cousin Killer. “AAAHHHHHHHH.” That was him.
sigh
A sigh is a sigh.
snore
I’ve been called worse but I can’t compete with the snore of a horse. Still, at camp, my backpacking companions make me sleep way over there.
roar
A low roaring, directed at a mare, when aroused. The equivalent of, “Hey, baby!”
squeal
Horse squeals are usually associated with conflict: annoyance, threat display, pain from injury; made with a closed mouth.
burp
Perhaps the only sound from a horse that is not documented is a burp.
crow
Crows can talk. One time I had a delightful, meaningless conversation with a crow who lived at the Aviary. I don’t know what we were talking about, but he actually used English words. Really.
(As an addendum to this story, I once dated a woman who worked at the Aviary. Her name was Robin. Again, really.)
(This is an example of a comment that is not a joke, because it’s true, but it’s funny, but not laugh-out-loud funny, as you no doubt noticed by the fact that you are not laughing out loud.)
human
This species often engages in meaningless patter throughout their day, and especially in the evenings, whether coming or going. There are 59 words to describe this vocalizing, this meaningless chatter.
The male of the species is usually louder than the female.
In ancient times, such as the mid-20th century, the female was known to apply variously colored and fragranced agents to their bodies to attract the male but increasingly, this self-decorating can be found among all genders.
The youth of the species are known for piercing cries, often sufficient to trip fire alarms or disrupt architecture.
pig
Sometimes mistaken for the previously described species. The sound these critters make? They burp. They burp and grunt. Sometimes they will squeal. Some of these vocalizations sound pitiful, some are commanding. You never know what yer gonna git.
Experts however, those who speak pig, will list these sounds coming from a pig…
barking, panting, coughing, groinking, grrr rr rr, he hon he hon he hon — done with rhythmic breathing — arf arf arf, whining, uhh uhh uhh uhh uhh — when you scratch their belly — aroooooo, ahhhh ahhhh ahhh, oink, oink, reeeeeee, woof, ooof, rarararaa grumble grumble — “Leave me alone!”, plus grinding of teeth and possibly lip smacking
mystery beast
It is 2’ 6” tall and has a serious overbite. It utters sounds backwards in a raspy, electric pencil sharpener type of voice, alternatively translated to “Watch out!” or “Grab the rope!”
Before my current career, whatever that is, I was an audio engineer. I designed and assembled sound tracks to fit all kinds of presentations: industrial productions, dance recitals, corporate support, awards presentations, radio and television commercials and music. I used sound to create auditory images, to put one in a particular environment to serve the goal of the presentation. It was great fun.
Also, whenever possible, I would mix in the sound of a distant dog barking. I would go, “Arf, arf.” That too was fun.
Take a moment. What do you sound like?