When it comes to fear, The Book of Lists (by David Wallechinsky) reveals some surprises. The list of the top ten fears manifested in humans looks like this…
1 speaking before a group
2 heights
3 insects and bugs
4 financial problems
5 deep water
6 sickness
7 death
8 flying
9 loneliness
10 dogs
Jay Leno responded to this list by quipping, “I guess we’d rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy.”
Fear is a funny thing. Ha, ha, ha. Well, no, not funny like that. It’s been called the Little Death, la petite mort. No, wait, that’s an orgasm. Never mind.
I know someone who would never remove his socks if anyone else was present. I saw a man try to grip the sheer interior wall of a building when he exited an elevator on the tenth floor. My cat Jean-Clawed is, of course, the cutest, friendliest, most harmless of creatures, yet when someone came into my home, he nearly passed out from fright upon seeing Jean-Clawed’s sweet little face. That kind of funny.
Isn’t it interesting? The #1 fear, worse than death, is getting up in front of a group of people and telling them what you know. Some of my students would sooner have a seizure than get their butts out of their seats to speak to just a dozen of their friendly classmates. And yet, I’m a teacher and continuing education lecturer who speaks in front of crowds, large and small, any day of the week.
Some folks are scared to death of silence, or driving at night, or the doctor’s office. Me? I don’t want to be in a casket, now or later. Burning up in a fire is unappealing too. I don’t fear these experiences, I just don’t want them.
My fear? As you may know by now, I have chosen #2: Heights. I have a fear of being up too high, or, I suppose, of falling too far.
I’ve always been scared of girls, but that’s a whole different issue.
Dorothy Thompson, regarded as the First Lady of American Journalism and at one time considered to be the country’s second most influential woman (after Eleanor Roosevelt) said, “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” As much of a hotshot as she was, I have to disagree. I think it’s when you do have fear, when you are close to danger, that’s when you know you are alive. The senses are revved up, you are on high alert, the juices are flowing. Man, you are on fire! That’s living.
What is it that I’m a-fearin’? Using the analytical part of my mind, I break down the process and examine, step by step, what it might be. In understanding is resolution. Or something.
Is it the actual falling that plagues me with alarm? Yeah, that gets my heart racing. I don’t like it when I’m in an airplane and it dips. Makes me clutch the armrests or Lisa’s arm. My aversion to falling may have to do with the evening some years ago when I rode the roller coaster six times, fiercely inebriated before the first ride and right on through the last. There was no beauty nor heroics in my behavior later that night.
Is it the fear of hitting the ground? Damn betcha!
They tell me the fear is irrational, that one can’t reason or practice it away. So far that’s been true for me. I have tried intentionally going to high places, visualizing being in high places, looking at pictures of people in high places. It has not made one whit of difference other than it just makes me more nervous.
And this is how it goes. I’m scared witless of heights, or exposed terrain. And yet, I’m a Highpointer. When do we get to our next mountain?
I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.
— Louisa May Alcott
Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.
— H Jackson Brown
Yes, Alcott and Brown and Dorothy Thompson are quite glib, sharing beautiful words of encouragement and inspiration. And I appreciate them immensely while sitting in my chair in my office, safely within reach of the ground.
Incidentally, I wrote this column while I was bouncing around in an airplane, approximately 32 000 turbulent feet above the ground, on the way to a high point hike.