July 2018
Behold, two of the residents of the Atlanta Botanical Garden.
In the car, traveling south. As we go farther, we see more billboards advertising “Gentleman’s Club.” Lisa wonders, because we haven’t seen any, if there also might be an “Asshole’s Club.”
In South Carolina, a bumper sticker reads…
Bearded Baptist
This term never crossed my path before. I did a little research. “Bearded Baptist” goes in a number of directions, some having to do with beards, some with Baptists. “Promoted by men/Encouraged by God” they tell us.
America wears its philosophy on its bumpers. To wit…
I came, I saw, I duct taped.
Child support — $600/month
Vasectomy — $600 once
Our billboard/bumper sticker reading done, our philosophy class over, we arrive in Atlanta. Not too far from my brother’s house is Chastain Park, the largest park in this southern city. There are several miles of trails and we walk all of them in our visits over several mornings.
The estimate is that 250 people use the main perimeter trail each hour. On our walks, no doubt, we see all of them.
Of these 250 we often see the same people two or three times on any given walk. My theory states that there are no more than 18 people in the world, possibly 19. The rest are done with mirrors, colored liquids and optical illusions. What else could it be!
On our walk the last morning we are here, we pass a tall woman of surpassing beauty. With her are her two little Yorkshire terriers whose names (I don’t know this at the time) are King and Twirl. How do I know this now?
We pass this woman and her two mutts, and the handsome man who accompanies her. He resembles all muscle with a gorgeous face. Once out of earshot, Lisa says, “She’s on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
“What?”
“Her name is _________. The Real Housewives of Wherever is a television show. It’s a reality show about rich wives. There are several versions, each in a different city, It could be The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Real Housewives of Dallas and one right here, The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It features the everyday struggles we all face: getting a good manicure, hosting a ritzy party, finding the best interior designer for your yacht, when to have plastic surgery.”
Lisa adds, “These are not our people.”