Pennsylvania
(There are 27 columns in my Pennsylvania Series. We have visited all of these marvels on the way to, or from, various hikes.)
Pennsylvania. Sylva refers to the woods, the forest, the places where we frequently hike and camp. Penn means “Penn”, as in William Penn. William Penn? Who dat?
William Penn was the father of William Penn. Senior was a rich, influential, land-owning gentleman. Junior was born into privilege in London in 1644. When you look closely at son Bill, he glimmered with talent. He is credited with being a real estate entrepreneur and a philosopher. You don’t get that combination all too often (although I would put my friend Veta in that category.)
I think the most fascinating aspect of Penn’s life was his religious journey but his fame comes from establishing the British colony that became the Province of Pennsylvania. Let’s see what this was about.
In England, when little Willie was just three years old, a bland-looking but dynamic hawker named George Fox began to preach his self-proclaimed God-inspired message. His small following called themselves the Friends of the Truth and soon enough, the Friends, as they are still known, but not the television show. They are also called the Religious Society of Friends or more commonly, the Quakers.
When he achieved adulthood, William Penn, became a close friend of Mr Fox as well as a Friendly adherent. Subsequently, he was kicked out of the University of Oxford because he refused to conform to the beliefs of the Anglican Church. It was this dismissal that first prompted him to consider himself a Quaker.
These were difficult times for folks in England if you didn’t adhere to the doctrine of the monarchy. In response to the religious restraint imposed by the crown, other rebellious sects sprouted up like hotcakes. I mention these groups mainly for their names: the Seekers, the Ranters, the Antinomians, the Seventh Day Baptists, the Soul Sleepers, the Adamites, the Diggers, the Levellers, the Anabaptists, the Behmenists and the Muggletonians. The Muggletonians!
Two things about these names. First, I did not make up a single one of them. And second, as Dave Barry would say, each and every one would be a good name for a rock band. In fact, the Seekers was an Australian band formed in 1962, and they did have some success on the United States charts.
William Penn the younger crossed the Atlantic, either to escape religious persecution or to put distance between himself and all the band names. At this time, King Charles II owed back pay to the elder Penn for his days as an admiral, but since Penn Senior was now dead, the Crown instead compensated the son. They did this by awarding him land on this “new” continent. Penn came here in 1682 and established “Pennsylvania” as a refuge of religious freedom. He drafted his Plan of Union, ideals well represented in the composition of the U S Constitution.
Currently William Penn, in the honorary form of a statue, stands atop City Hall in Philadelphia, the largest city in Penn’s state. It was generally agreed that no building taller than the height of Penn’s hat would be erected in the city. It wasn’t actually a law, but everyone seemed happy to go along with the idea. Until the mid-1980s when One Liberty Place went up. At 945 feet, it is 397 feet higher than William Penn’s lid.
Thus began what is known as the Curse of Billy Penn. Seems that once this full-on arrogance was embodied by One Liberty Place for exceeding the height of the William Penn statue, none of the city’s major professional sports teams was able to win a championship. Not one. And this is in the context of a long string of previous successes by their baseball, hockey, football and basketball teams.
Twenty-one years later, the construction of the new Comcast Center was completed. It stands 974 feet tall, fully 29 feet higher than One Liberty Place. Part of the dedication ceremony featured the raising of a steel beam to the skyscraper’s highest point. As is tradition, the beam was signed by construction workers and an American flag was affixed. In addition, a 25-inch tall statue of William Penn rode that beam too, carrying Billy Penn to a height where he could once again reign over the land. The next season, the Philadelphia Phillies baseball team won the World Series. The curse was broken.
Back to City Hall. At the apex, Penn is holding a copy of the treaty he signed with the Lenni Lenape tribe of Native Americans, the aforementioned Plan of Union. He is facing the direction where the treaty was signed, which is to say, east. This is all very nice but…
Approach City Hall from Fairmount Park to the northwest and this is the view you get.

Umm… What… Uh…
Look closely. Tell me no one noticed this? Surely, this is not what Alexander Calder envisioned when he produced this bronze statue. I will put this delicately, in case you’re not up to speed here. The namesake of my home state? William Penn? You can see his johnson. I mean, founder dude’s got a hard-on! You could call him “Willie Penn.”
Now erase that picture from your mind. Gaze rather upon this visage from a slightly different angle. Please.

You will see that what at first appeared to be his schwanz is actually part of the wooden scroll of the treaty document. (Penn sporting some wood? No. Stop that.)
I propose a new motto for Pennsylvania: “Penn is happy to see you.”
Two more very important things about William Penn. First, I attended William Penn High School.
And second, that guy on the Quaker Oats cereal boxes? That’s not him.