Panorama Point
Nebraska
July 2013
Oh, did I not mention the buffalo?
After crossing the border between the two Dakota states — <Dakota> is sort of a Sioux word meaning “allies” or “friends” — we drive right through Buffalo, a town of 330 residents. Not far from the center of town, and past the Tatanka Plaza, is the Buffalo Cemetery. That is the name of the cemetery; there is a sign over the entry gate announcing that intel.
I wonder, who’s buried here? Buffalo or Buffalonians.
We have just learned that, in South Dakota, it’s not so outrageous to see buffalo standing aside the road. Because several of them are.
The buffalo get me thinking. First, technically, they are bison, not buffalo.
Second, we still mostly call them “buffalo” even though they are bison.
And third, the following sentence has meaning.
Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.
It’s simple. I explain at the end of this column.
Now, about these buffalo. We in our nation have a critter that we call buffalo. But it’s not the same critter as buffalo. They are bison. There is a difference, a lot of difference. To wit: Bison have humps, buffalo do not. Bison have small, sharp horns while buffalo have long to medium length horns, depending on the species. Bison have thick fur and a beard while buffalo have light hair and are, so to speak, clean-shaven. And here’s kind of a big factor for us to identify the difference: Bison live in the Americas, both North and South, and in Europe. Buffalo live in Asia and Africa. That, nature lovers, should be a big clue.
Also, bison most often use a knife and fork, buffalo use a straw.
Here, I make it easy. Print this out and carry it in your wallet.
| bison | buffalo |
| have humps | do not have humps |
| small, sharp horns | long to medium length horns, depending on the species |
| sport thick fur and a beard | light hair and clean-shaven |
| live in the Americas and Europe | live in Asia and Africa |
| use a knife and fork | will sip through a straw |
The difference between buffalo and bison is important. It just doesn’t sound right to sing…
Oh, give me a home
Where the bison roam
There’s no panache to…
Bison gals, won’t you come out tonight?
And dance by the light of the moon.
If you listen to the Grateful Dead, you know that had they sung…
Truckin’, truckin’ up to Bison
Been thinkin’, you got to mellow slow
it just wouldn’t work.
This great old song would build and build and finally, at delivery time, crash and burn…
I’ll go home and get my panties
You go home and get your scanties
And away we’ll go
Mmm-mmm-mmm
Off we’re gonna shuffle
Shuffle off to Bison
A band named Bison Springfield would never have made it.
Did they invent the “bison wings” at that bar in Buffalo, New York? No, they did not.
Nor do the Bison Bills play professional football. That doesn’t even make sense.
I used to collect coins. I had quite a collection of bison nickels. No, I didn’t. They were buffalo nickels.
The National Bison Association (NBA) out of Westminster, Colorado, tells us that, “Scientifically, the term buffalo is incorrect for the North American species; its proper Latin name is Bison bison.” However, “…common usage has made the term buffalo an acceptable synonym for the American bison.”
I’m mildly chagrined by this proclamation. You losers!
After performing the series of almost all right turns, stirring up a cloud of dust on the plains behind us, we cross the cattle guard on the last leg of our route to the high point.
This time it really is “bison.” This ranch, which surrounds the high point, is privately owned. Behold the entry to the ranch.
There are additional signs explaining…
Bison are native to the short grass prairies of the Great Plains. They are hearty animal [sic] having survived in North America for thousands of years.
In 1905 there were only about 800 bison in the United States, 700 of which were privately owned. Today there are over 300 000 bison. This is good.
Bison was an integral part of the Native American diet. These days people enjoy buffalo meat because it has a pleasing, sweet flavor and it’s low in calories, fat and cholesterol. You can substitute buffalo, or bison, in any recipe calling for beef.
Lisa: “This sign is in poor taste as the bison can read it any time they come upon it.”
A sign farther along cautions us against biking and hiking here, because of the buffalo. Roger Miller wrote a song called You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd. It goes something like this…
Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
But ya can be happy if you’ve a mind to
Roger knew the score. He could have sung the song about biking in a buffalo herd or hiking in a bison herd, same difference. Lisa wants a button on the sign that you could push to hear the song.
It is true that “buffalo” meat is tasty. But hark. According to a report from the Public Broadcasting Service, a hundred years ago ranchers began to cross breed their bison with cattle to try to raise better meat animals. They promoted so much of this interspecies hanky panky that today, only about 1.6% of bison are purebred.
The sign asks us for three bucks each to come visit the high point. We sign the register, put the six clams into an envelope which we slip through the slot, drive over the cattle guard and continue on the relatively featureless dirt road, through seemingly endless fields of grasses, to our high point.
Watch out for the buffalo as it is also bad form to try to drive in a buffalo herd. On the other hand, whether you are facing a bison or a buffalo, walk softly and hope that he or she is in a good mood.
As an aside, in neighboring South Dakota, there is a 52.6-mile distance between the town of Buffalo and the town of Bison as the crow flies, 55.6 miles as the crow drives. Bison, in Perkins County, boasts three more residents than Buffalo in Harding County: 333 to 330.
What do those three people know that we don’t know!
As concerns our many-buffaloed sentence, behold…
The buffalo from Buffalo who are buffaloed by buffalo from Buffalo also buffalo the buffalo from Buffalo.
Thank you for playing.